Kudos for the Star Market Customer who always has a joke to make someone smile for this web page idea.
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""Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Red Skelton""
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The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends.If they're OK, then it's you.
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Heartwarming Lawyer story. One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also." The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high." Come on now...you really didn't think there was such a thing as a heartwarming lawyer story...did you?
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Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you're broke?
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There was a knock on the door this past Saturday morning. I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said: "Hello Ma'am, I'm a Jehovah's Witness." So I said "Come in and sit down." I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?" He said, "Beats the shit out of me, Nobody ever let me in before."
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“Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.”
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“You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.”
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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.' The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.' The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he Doesn't wear his collar that way!' The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom . . . And put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap.
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Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
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My honey has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.